Social circles, Snakes and Real Friends
My personal favourite friendship
I know for a fact that I am not the only person who sits, scrolling through their phone, and drops their jaw at what other people look like. I'm not talking about the supermodels or personalities, I could not care less about them; I am talking about the people in my social circle (particularly girls), or who I know via social media. Why does my jaw drop? Because I am envious, in all honestly.
It's something that we as human beings can't help. Envy plays into everything, but with envy comes a whole lot more, such as belittling yourself, scolding yourself, and most importantly, not valuing yourself for the brilliant person that you knew you were thirty seconds before you'd seen the said post. It's shit, it really is, but it's just a way of life, and that is the saddest thing of all. I think this creates a huge amount of self-esteem issues in both boys and girls, men and women; self-esteem issues that we don't need and can quite frankly be avoided.
Some of you who follow my instagram might recall me posting a link to a survey, and asking some of you to take it. For the past week or so I've been analysing the data and thinking about what it actually all means. It seems that this blog has a general audience for starters, but also that we're all in the same boat, even if some of us won't want to admit it.
So, from the 71 submissions I received, I gathered this:
When asked if they found their social circle incestuous
26% said Yes
24% said No
50% answered At Times.
What did I mean by this question?
Do you think that everyone knows everything about you? Do you think that you have people within your friendship groups who would happily snake you out to gain validation? Do you think that you can actually trust people to not share your private information and it be the next topic of conversation for the rest of your friends?
Next I asked "Would you say that you feel pressure via social media pictures owned by people within your area of London, or social circle?"
54% said Yes
46% said No
My next question was "How would you describe your social circle?" The answers that followed really didn't surprise me. (more than one answer available)
40 said Enjoyable
18 said Caring
14 said Snakey
15 said Toxic
14 said Critical
How can we allow ourselves to feel secure and happy when really this is what we end up answering? I know plenty of people that would have put down all the negative answers and still report back to their group of 'friends' acting like they're the best people to be with. No. This survey is anonymous, therefore people are telling the truth about how they feel, and if this is the case but we're still all acting like everything is fine then we have a JME serious problem.
I think it's fair to say that social media is a categorical dickhead, coming out with many more negative impacts than positive ones, for me definitely, and I'm saying it right now to all of you reading this. Am I bothered? No. Why am I unbothered? Because if someone doesn't say it then things will never change.
We, as a generation, are all tramps when it comes to keeping secrets. Only a very select few can be told things and actually keep it to themselves. It doesn't matter in my opinion what the secret is, you could give away the smallest piece of information and it would still matter as much to me. It is the principle of being entrusted with something, proceeding to swear that you will not repeat, and the first thing you go on to do is provide people with 10 minutes worth of conversation on snapchat with. Really? Was it worth it? The likelihood is probably not, but then you have the social climbers who will say (if they're honest) that it was because those 10 minutes put them somewhere on the ladder, but in reality they're known as the person who told that other person that so-and-so did this, or this happened to their nearest and dearest. Come on, bunch of dickheads.
But, I am not just here to rant at everyone because that would not be very positive of me, and it's in the name (I'm not sorry at all). We can come up with solutions!
If you did this survey and answered those questions, calling your friends Snakes, Critical and toxic, then not only is there a problem with them, but Big Man, there is definitely a problem with you. How can you tell me that you're friends are like this, but then just sit around and do nothing? Terrible form.
MAKE A CHANGE FOR THE BETTER. You do not need people in your life who A) are going to make you feel like shit, B) will never acknowledge that they make you feel that way, and C) Stop you from doing what you want to do, your own thing.
On a daily basis I see people scrounging around a particular person, always wanting to impress them, be noticed; honestly there are some days I see a popularity contest moving like The Hunger Games. It is SO SAD. Realistically, if you're putting in all the work to impress someone or a group of people who aren't valuing you or your time then you are being stupid. Not only are you waisting your own time but its likely that they aren't seeing you how you want them to see you. Believe it or not popular people, although reluctant, are usually on the hunt for new people to bring into their group, Safari movements.
I want to say this really, and i know that this article was kind of tumultuous and lacked structure, and those of you who made it this far (hold tight all of you) might be a bit tired, yes I get it, but please do not sit around and wait for people to start appreciating you.
If you have a problem with one of your friends, say it to their face, sort it out instead of being angry and letting it harvest inside you. For example, if you're angry that they're fake to you but then you treat them as if nothing is wrong, that makes you equally as bad, if not worse. Your words, regardless of the issue, have the power to better a person, they might act as if they won't listen to you but if it actually comes with meaning then they will. Definitely.
You can find real friends in the friends you already have, all you have to do is speak up and make them realise that they've hurt you, or that the way they're going about things isn't right and it needs to change. I guarantee that a lot of these people haven't dealt with confrontation concerning their shitty behaviour, and you speaking up will help, trust me.
So, in conclusion, I feel like this is something that as a generation we need to nip in the bud. It is time to start gassing ourselves up more for starts, tell yourself that you are that bitch, because you know what? You are that bitch. And second of all, it's time to start thinking about ourselves more, our relationships, whether they're actually doing us any good or if we should just say goodbye to some people? I promise each and every single person reading this, getting rid of one person at a time who is constantly letting you down will slowly but surely make everything so much better; and if you're someone who pushes friends away, take it from me, it is much better to have a friend who annoyingly cares too much as opposed to one who pretends to and then throws it in your face, because as soon as they find something better to do they're gone, and they'll take everything they have on you with them.
And, if you're a Snake reading this, if you're a shit friend reading this, then fix up, because the people around you are way too valuable for you to treat terribly, and they'll probably start moving on out if you don't change your ways.
So, everyone have a banging week,
Obviously hope I was Positively Unhelpful innit