You've Come This Far. Don't Lose Hope.

I have been staring at my computer for maybe six months now, not literally but you know what I mean; and now, yet again, we find ourselves in another Lockdown, more exams cancelled, higher rates of infection and more troubles overall. It seems unfair on everyone, but then again the majority of people have shelter, food on their tables, and somewhere to spend this repetitive, lonesome time. Again, I’m describing this Lockdown to be how it truly is; and even if you are going out and seeing people, we are all still surrounded by this poisonous tension that causes us all to want to escape the relentless announcements, broadcasts, warnings and limits on what should’ve been our basic abilities. However, there is a slight feeling of selfishness when I sit here and type away, frustrated and conflicted, because surely this is for the better? Helping people stay safe, even if we’re not at risk ourselves? There’s a side of me that feels guilty for going against given advice and not being careful, but then there is the human side of me, the side that needs physical contact and interaction with friends, or even people in general.

With Lockdown, I think it is safe to say that most people have lost the passion for what they love doing, which is ironic as so many of us were thinking “Great! All this time, now I can pursue what I love doing and excel.” For so many of us, this has not been the case, but again this is the loneliness forced upon us winning. It’s easy with this much time on our hands to say “I’ll just do it tomorrow.” Reality is we never do; we make excuses and then it gets to a point where we face the sad truth of the loss of love for what used to make us happy. That’s what happened with me and writing; coming onto this website filled with me excitement and fulfilment, allowing me to get in touch with you and write words of encouragement and motivation, hopefully allowing you to know that you weren’t alone and that you had purpose. I don’t feel the excitement and love that I used to feel anymore, partly to do with my own internal issues, but also to do with the fact that isolation makes you lazier, less motivated, unproductive, and fills you with an aggressive feeling of self-doubt as you’re left to contemplate every decision you make; I used to try and write articles and then examine every single one, down to the word choice and sentence structure, even if the topic was vital, and then just delete them. We can all say that we feel ‘fine’ or ‘content’ in ourselves, but are we really being honest or are we just dressing things up in our own heads whilst consciously pushing problems down to make things easier in the short term?I know I have done that, and then it all manifests itself in the worst way possible, and you end up like me and I am sure some of you, worse off than when you started.

So, I come with complaints and stresses but how do you manage this feeling of isolation and structure? How does anyone? Everyone has their own way ultimately, but structure is important, committing to doing one thing a day consistently for a period of time gives you a minimal form of routine, and as you gather up the willpower to keep going you find yourself regaining a sense of normality. I don’t mean go for a walk or anything excessively leisurely, I mean something that requires the smallest amount of intellect to keep you somewhat stimulated and distract you from self-deprecating thoughts before they swallow you whole. If I use myself as an example, I write one short article on a current affair every day, under eight hundred words, and then review the one from the day before. It takes me less than forty minutes and at least keeps me busy. Everyone has one thing that they’re good at, even if you don’t think it, and if that is the case then just pick the thing that you’re better at doing comparatively, even if you still think you’re shit. By doing one thing a day, you can start to build it up to two different things a day on the occasion and allow this structure to become routine. Keeping your mind busy allows for you to: A) not become braindead and just consume yourself on social media this is mainly publishing the toxic political climate of the world at the moment (although vital) and B) gives you a retreat of quiet from the world or even your own head. By doing these sorts of activities on your own accord and not for anyone else you don’t feel the pressure of getting things right, them not being good enough, or the nervousness around sharing them. Sometimes it's good to have things just for you and you only; sure, share them if you’re proud and feel that others would enjoy them, but put your mind first and go in with the purpose of giving yourself an outlet to channel your abilities in.

Coronavirus hasn’t allowed for good experiences to truly be enjoyed, and I want to say that I am thinking of anyone who has experienced unprecedented hardships through this hellhole of a year. To anyone who feels isolated, lonely, saddened, unheard, frustrated, even just confused, you are not alone. It has been, and still is a whirlpool of volatile emotions and unexpected turns, no one knows whats coming and not to be political but we have a majorly unreliable Government depending on their reputation presented by the media leading us. Our Prime Minister doesn’t seem to know left from right when it comes to leadership, and our Education Secretary seems to be violating most points of the Ministerial Code as it stands, depriving young people of the grades and success they deserve due to his malleability by Johnson, Boris Johnson himself, and his Party’s inability to make decisive decisions and put a firm foot down when it was necessary. In my opinion, they cannot expect people to follow their rules when it suits them; Johnson relies on public appearance and therefore leaves the announcement of required and imperative decisions to the last minute, ultimately making public outcry worse than it would’ve been if he’d been brave enough to do it earlier and give people time to prepare.

It’s a sad time for the UK: Coronavirus, shutting of businesses, Brexit, the fact that the American Democrat Government think that this Country is a joke (Dominic Raab didn’t turn up to a Zoom meeting with Nancy Pelosi, pretty embarrassing), the cancelling of Exams (again), and the insincere nature of the governmental departments who are watching Small Businesses suffer at the hands of a Pandemic that should've been better managed from the outset. Again, I complain, but then I'll reinstate what is key at a time like this. In place of the incompetence at the top, we stick together. We appreciate the Key Workers who have kept this Country functioning in day-to-day routine.

Unity within ourselves is what has kept the majority of us gong and somewhat positive about the end of a nonsensical period of time like this. I call it a ‘period’ because it is just temporary; it may be a long and draining couple of years, and it will shape the Country and define how we relate to leadership, but it will also teach us, and has already been doing so, how to care, be mindful, and conscious of others and ourselves. Without that communal support this country would be much worse off, and you deserve to appreciate yourself for how much you’ve supported people throughout this strenuous time.

Again, DMs always open, even if it’s just to tell me that you think differently, or if it’s to air your own frustration, but please don’t allow this loneliness to beat you down and overcome you, and if it has, from me, find it in yourself to fight your way out of it.

Much Love,

Positively Unhelpful